At the age of 19 I got into yoga. I was curious to see if learning yogic breathing and moving my body into pretzel shapes helped with my chaotic inner life. I was checked out and did not know how to show up for myself. I was silently suffering from undigested life experiences... psychological and physical issues, irregular heart rate, digestive issues, autoimmune disease, skin and hormonal problems.
My first experience with spirituality, breath work and meditation got me even more out of my body and left me confused. My life was hijacked by a dysfunctional nervous system and I had no idea at that time!
Later on as a Forrest Yoga teacher I started to learn how to get into my body ( finally!! 🙂 ) by learning to sit with my discomfort, applying deep breathing and movement to move out toxicity from my cell tissue. Movement became a prayer way for me and learnt how to intelligently align my joints and how different types of yogic breathing brought ‘heat’ to my body and which helped ‘cool’ it down. Later as I went deeper into studying my postural/energetic/emotional and spiritual patterns I came across Intra Abdominal and Intrathoracic Breathing which I brought into my yoga practice, teaching, harnessing the power of these type of breathing with the purpose of opening up blockages in the body and create alignment. I was happily combining these powerful ways to breathe with my advanced asana practice.
I learnt that getting into my body was the key to healing. Added to that thanks to the dramatic end of my marriage in 2019, I needed to finally look into MY role in my relational dysfunction, took responsibility and healed my nervous system. I proudly took responsibility and did my own part of the healing work.
During my codependency recovery phase I discovered who I am. I made a commitment to myself and realized I needed to be my partner first before I can thrive in relationship with others. Besides the self love practices, my committed yoga practice, I deepened my love affair and commitment to my Central Asian cultural and spiritual heritage. I picked up the practice of horseback archery (and sword training). After an injury on horseback I was forced to slow down and thanks to my friend David (Dance of the Dragon) I learnt his qigong techniques. I discovered how a soft way of breathing and subtlety is an important part of healing. Moving this new way brought many of the inspirations to the way I teach now.
Breath is my lifeline to my body (embodiment) and through that my authentic self. Because I used to be checked out of my body, it is very comforting to take up space and have comfort plus ownership in my own body, to be present for my life. Breath is the tool that helps to regulate my nervous system and transports my perception from mental processing to present time full body thinking.
Accessing your wiser self would be impossible without learning to breathe intelligently. Your structural mobility and bodily functions operate in coherency from full breath, the kind that massages the inner organs and aligns structure, muscles, joints and your life.